Yes, he did it again!

This time, I was off doing a million things (folding laundry, setting up my sister-in-law’s new computer, answering the phone, etc.) but I was still checking in on him and listening to what he was doing. I kept hearing his electronic toys going off and every time I checked on him, he was being good. But somehow, he managed to find a Sharpie Marker that Steve had been using in our remodeling for various things but had forgotten about. It was behind the blinds on one of the windowsills.

He colored on the wall and then put the marker back where he found it then continued to play with his toys! When I came in, I asked, “what are you doing?”

Elijah: “playing!?”

Mommy: “Oh, playing? Can I play too?” (I sat on the couch.) “…What’s that smell?”

Then I looked up and saw it. It’s across the room from the paint disaster (of NOT EVEN A WEEK AGO) and is on one of the non-paneling walls, one of the prettier walls.

This is another one that’s not totally my fault. I didn’t leave the Sharpie out, all of mine are in my desk drawer (which is guarded by a psycho insane mother me constantly) and he doesn’t get them out. And, yes, I was not actively watching him, but what am I supposed to do, follow him around all day long? I have things to get done but apparently I’m not allowed to leave him alone to play for any length of time whatsoever.

*sigh*

What am I going to do with this kid? Up until last week we had no problems like this, now twice in approximately a weeks’ time, and in our nearly finished living room, too. It couldn’t be one of the rooms we’ve not started remodeling yet, could it? No, of course not, that would make my life less stressful.

I used to have an old wav file of Cartman saying “I.Am.So.Pissed.Off.Right.Now.” I wonder whatever happened to that?

I get the chicken out of the freezer and realize I need to wash the pan first since I used it the night before then ran out the door and didn’t get home until late. So I’m washing the pan and I get another phone call. Phone call ends, open fridge. What do I see there?

Yup, Elijah apparently actually listened to me for once when I said, “and that is the last of the bread, there is no more, no more until we buy some, that is your last other peanut butter sandwich until we get more bread… okay?” And he decided to save what was left of it. Smart boy, but by the time I’d found it – within a half an hour of it being put there – it was already stale. So Rimshot had a treat.

Of course, I thought this was so cute and I was distracted, so I took that picture. I went to turn on some music to play on the desktop computer for while I washed dishes and stuff and thought I’d unload the picture (as well as last night’s) at the same time. It was then that I noticed that my media card reader wasn’t working… again.

I restarted the computer and got the stupid “time and date not set” problem again. I’m so mad, because this is the third or fourth time and so I called Dell again. They had me on hold so long, I got on the chat with them. I’m annoyed with this because I’ve only had this computer since December and while everything else has been fine, this media card reader has been nothing but problems. I’ve had to open the silly thing several times and re-hook the cable to get it to work. I shouldn’t have to do this. The Dell guy has to call me back because I have to restart the computer. I’m told that I have to open it up and take out that little motherboard battery for a bit and then put it back and re-set the stuff in the bios. I’m not sure what that’s going to do because I also reset the cable while I was in there. It’s all working now… (Speaking of peripherals…) I guess we’ll see.

Yes, your eyes are glazing over by now. Imagine how distracted I was? Somewhere between the chat and the time they called me back, Elijah started screaming. “TOWEL, TOWEL! GIMME TOWEL!”

I meet him on the way to the bathroom where he’s holding out his hands with white stuff all over them. At first I can’t figure out what the stuff is but then I realize… paint. Paint.

That means… he somehow found the paint-can-pryer-opener that we keep put up out of his reach and opened the can alllllllllllll by himself.

I got him washing his hands and found the paint can. It was wet in places on the sides and still basically had the lid on, the pry-thingy on top of the lid with paint all over the end. I get the lid back on and take it into the lower room, everything seems okay. Maybe a little bit on the floor, I can’t tell if that was there before or not (we still don’t have the carpet down, have a few things left to do/buy).

I tell him, “you’re in BIG trouble, Mister!!?”

The response? “NO I NOT MISTER, I NOT TROUBLE!!! GIMME TOW-WEL!!!”

It was only later that evening when I was sitting in the chair, turned towards Steve who was on the couch, talking to him, that I saw this:

Need a closer look?

Yeah, I about fainted. I just stopped talking and kind of gasped. Steve was looking at me saying, “What? What?!” All I could do was point. Yeah he was really upset. Our new wall. I think I’m going to cry just looking at it now. We were barely going to finish the room with the paint we had, now it looks like we’re going to have to buy more – I hope they can match the color accurately so that we don’t have to paint the whole thing again!! It’s going to have to be chipped/sanded, that white stuff is very thick and textured.

I don’t think he blames me (which is sometimes the response dads give moms: “well where were YOU?”) – this thing usually doesn’t happen. Usually I catch E before it gets that far, the kid has never colored on walls or anything before, not with crayons or anything. This is so depressing though!

The rest of the day? It was about like that. After all this and then the phone call from Dell I realized I was really hungry. I went into the kitchen and… well, there was my chicken still sitting on the counter. *sigh*

“Elijah!? Elijah!? What are you do-ing!? Elijah!? Elijah? Elijah Henry!!”

The immediate answer?

“NOOOOO I NOT HENRY! HIS NAME IS ELIJAH!!!”

Then, as if to extract revenge:

“MAMA? MAMA HENRY!!!!!”

And I have been Mama Henry ever since.

Possibly because I found it all absolutely hilarious.

[MEDIA=2]

It Ain’t Me Babe, Johnny & June Carter Cash; “no no babe”
Ring of Fire, Johnny & June Carter Cash
Moody Blue, Elvis Presley; “foody boo” or “daddy’s song”
Cry! Cry! Cry, Johnny Cash
It Ain’t Me Babe, The Turtles; “‘nother no no babe”
Would You Go With Me, Josh Turner; “tire song”
That’s All Right, Elvis Presley
It Ain’t Me Babe, Joaquin Phoenix & Reese Witherspoon; “movie no no babe”
Jackson, Johnny & June Carter Cash; “movie jackson”
Ring of Fire, Joaquin Phoenix; “movie ring of fire”

Yes, he is quite adamant about his music. However, I can already see his tastes changing, sometimes he only wants to hear the Walk the Line movie songs above all else. He knows the difference between each version, I can’t trick him. There was a time I played the first It Ain’t Me Babe for him and he asked for “‘nother one” but it was in a different playlist, so I cheated and played the same one again. He freaked. “NO!! ‘NOTHER NO NO BABE!!!!”

It took us an hour’s drive to figure out that Moody Blue was “Daddy’s Song” once. We can’t figure out why it would be Daddy’s Song… unless, he assumed that every time my phone rang it was Daddy, since that was my ringer at the time. Maybe. But that was quite the stressful drive. I tried every Elvis song (Elvis was my only clue as to what the song was) that had anything to do with daddies, but he wasn’t happy. Finally we did each song one at a time until we found it and the screaming stopped. It’s funny now, but it sure wasn’t then.

“The Tire Song” was thankfully easier, though it took several days to figure out which one this was. He didn’t scream about this one but he asked for it for several days and I had no idea which song it was. Then a few weeks ago, the two of us and Sarah were at a gas station getting ready to get something to drink and the iPod shuffled around and started playing the song. Ever so calmly and happily, Elijah said, “Ohhhhh tiiiire song!!!”

But now, Elijah has a new favorite that I’ll soon need to obtain and add to his list. You might be able to say that all his previous songs are favorites because he had heard them quite a bit, that might be arguable. But not this one. Last week, I was in the grocery store with Elijah and suddenly he starts singing with the music… “One, two, three, on a bird on a sink.”

[MEDIA=1]

First of all, please ignore our nasty floor that will soon be covered up with new carpet as well as the dog’s bed and other construction items in the background. :P But if you haven’t figured it out by now, Elijah is attempting to sing Tim McGraw’s Last Dollar (Fly Away). He doesn’t realize that the lyrics are actually “like a bird I’ve seen.” (You can currently watch that video on timmcgraw.com.)

Just kidding — the lyrics are really really “like a bird I sing.” :-D

And you may also have realized, there’s another issue in my video. I’ve been prone to call him “Little Man,” and as long as he’s not very distracted, Elijah will always answer, “Nooo I not little man! I Elijah! His name is El-i-jah!” Or something similar. Sometimes he gets quite angry, it’s hilarious.

I still cannot believe what he just did while he was supposed to be taking a nap. He ripped it down and tore it into about five pieces!!!!!! He even took a big chunk out of Diego!

Oh, I’m so mad. I don’t even know why he did it. There’s just no reason. And when I got in his face and asked him why, he said, “put it on the wall.”

“I can’t put it on the wall, you broke it!”

“Throw it away.”

Completely devoid of any emotion. He totally doesn’t care.

And now he’s sitting across the room in his highchair smiling and laughing at me. I swear, that makes me even madder. Heh.

I’m making him go back to his room after he’s done eating. He had better get that nap in before I go crazy.

Of course, it’s not the price of the stupid thing, it was only 50¢ – it’s the principle. This kid is starting to destroy things just for the sake of destroying them and I am not putting up with that.

Once, when we were little, my brother and one of our cousins that’s his age decided they were going to open Mom’s dishwasher and not just stand on the open door, but jump on it. Yeah, we didn’t have a dishwasher for a while. (Not that I have one now either.) That’s just the tip of the iceberg with those two, too. If I have anything to say about it, my kid’s not going to grow up with that kind of disrespect.

Okay. /Rant.

You see, the stairs to our bedroom (2nd floor) are open underneath and when we moved in and started doing some work in the house a friend started to put drywall to turn that into a wall with a little door for storage under the stairs. That drywall has remained like that without the door – not anywhere near being finished – for almost seven years now. (!!)

A couple of weeks ago, I entered the room to find Elijah, screwdriver in hand, taking screws out of the drywall! He had three out and was working on the fourth!

The other day he told me that he was helping Daddy and that he fixed the wall by moving a piece of paneling over the hole where it would soon go.

That kid impresses me more every day. ;-)

That’s my boy!!