Yesterday he said to me, “So, Mommy, your first car was a Lovo, right?” (Volvo.) When I answered that he was indeed correct, he started firing off questions about our vehicle history! He’s so interested in everything, he wants to know what make and model of vehicle, what color, how long we had them, how old our current vehicle is now, etc. It’s unreal.

It’s really one of the main reasons I can’t lie to this kid! Big things like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny aside, I can’t even, apparently, mention just once that, yes, I saw what you were doing behind the couch because I do, indeed, have x-ray vision. ‘Cause then, for the next 3 weeks, I have to listen to: “Are you SURE you have x-ray vision?” The daily questions for this have died down, but I still get asked on at least a weekly basis now. He does, however, completely believe that I have eyes in the back of my head. He doesn’t seem to realize that just because I know what he’s doing it doesn’t necessarily mean I can see him. I’m not even sure where he got the idea of the eyes in the back of my head in the first place, one day he just started asking me about them and, while playing behind me, telling me to “close your back eyes…. ’cause I don’t want you to see what I’m doing.” Oh, yeah, that means I’m not going to look!!

X-ray vision and Back Eyes aside, I really do have to be conscious not to stretch the truth or brush him off with a lame non-true answer about something like parents do, or say something that will be taken the wrong way. When K was still in the hospital, my friend had him with her and they went to the store to get a new prescription filled for her father-in-law. She saw the new price and said, “Ohhhh Grandpa’s going to have a heart attack!” Ever since then, Elijah has been extremely concerned about his friends’ great-grandpa having a heart attack! He went on and on about it for about 3 days even though we were all telling him that she was just kidding that it was just a figure of speech, and now, months later, if it comes up, he still remembers.

The other day, out of the blue, he mentioned a certain couple that I have not seen in over 3 years now, nor spoken of around him in about 2 and a half or longer. I met the wife online and we were friends for a while and they visited here in July of 2006. The other day, Elijah just started talking about something her husband said or did while they were here. It took me a minute to figure out who he was talking about (because he never used the man’s real name but called him by the pet name the wife did, haha). I mean, dang, kid, that was half a lifetime ago for him!

On the upside, his memory is great when it applies to school. However, I think that he also has employed some selective memory when it comes to math. Though, I do also get the feeling that if he’d just stop and think for even a second and not be worrying about how long it’s going to take him to get finished or what not, that he’d know the answer right away. Great for reading though! He’s been acing his spelling tests.

Oh, speaking of elephants? A few weeks ago he was sitting on the couch and out of the blue he muttered to himself: “I hate elephants… cause of their long trunks.” I about fell out of my chair I was laughing so hard!

He does his “I’m naked” dance (read: sigh). He puts on his shirt. He does his “I’m naked” dance, going “see this, see this, see this?”

I’m all, “Elijah. Put on your clothes already.”

He’s getting his underwear on now and suddenly he says, “HEY! I don’t want people watching me when I’m changing!” I’m all, “HEY! I was here first! If you don’t like it you can go in your room and change.”

So, now wearing his t-shirt and underwear he goes into his bedroom and closes the door to put on his shorts and socks.

A little late there, Bud.

Gotta love him tho. :)

Val: Nope, haven’t looked.

Steve: [looking around] Get up!

Val: What!? Why?

Steve: I want to look under the chair.

Val: I already looked under the chair.

Steve: I don’t believe you!

Val: What!!!!! You think I’m lying? [laughing]

Steve: [laughing] get up!

Steve then removes the cushions and digs through the chair and finds toys and a little towel. He then flips the chair over and under it finds — ta-da — the remote!

Val: I SWEAR I looked under that chair!! I even went like this! [demonstrates a sweeping method]

Well, mystery solved anyway, it’s about time!

This was also followed by more hilarity, most of which y’all wouldn’t get but now that he has the remote, he’s playing some DVD about gun history. And there’s some dude, all dressed out in traditional fur trapper garb and Steve says, “I need to get me an outfit like that,” and I just cracked up and couldn’t stop laughing. “What’s so funny?” In a word, this!

“No,” he says, “I don’t have the hair.” :P

As much as it’s gotten old and stale and can be embarrassing in public, I totally have to try and not to laugh every time because I think it’s hilarious. It’s mostly hilarious because it’s always in the past sense, always “tooted” never “toot” or “tooting.”

On the upside, I have him trained well. The other night when Steve faked a “toot” noise just to get Elijah going, well, it sort of went like this:

Elijah: Daddy! Did you tooted?

Steve: No, Mommy did it!

Elijah: Nooooo, Mommy didn’t tooted. Mommy doesn’t tooted. Ladies don’t tooted.

HEEHEEE :)

That’s right, boys!

A man who I’d never seen before, I guess he’s the pastor of the church, started to pray a short prayer before starting breakfast.  I watched as Elijah closed his hands together, bowed his head, and closed his eyes.

And then?

He said aloud, very loudly: “I pledge awegiance to the flag of the United States of Amerwica and to the… what come next!?”

Okay, well, I thought it was hilarious. They have been working on the pledge though, and actually, after only one class of going over it, he knows a good deal of it.  He’s been asking me constantly for the past week to go over it so I guess he really wants to learn it.  I started videoing him saying it the other day but that just killed it all and he started playing instead.  Go figure.  But he knows the beginning and the end and seems to remember most of the middle when given little hints.  So we’ll see.  :)

This time, it’s the remote to the satellite that is missing. The only buttons on the bloody box are the power button and channel up and down. Last night, I left the remote sitting on the back of the couch, this morning, it is gone. It’s not behind the couch, so I can only figure it’s in the cushions. E’s throwing a fit about watching or not watching some show so I send him on a mission to find the remote.

He’s rummaging under the right couch cushion, where the remote should be hiding. He puts the cushion back down and sits on it and says that he can’t find it. In that second, the satellite goes to that annoying customer service channel.

The remote! She must be nearby!

I rummage through the cushions but can’t find it, either. I get behind the couch and pull it back and ask Elijah if it’s under there. No… but there are some toy cars. He gets the cars out and I put the couch back down. I rummage through the other cushions. When looking under the left one, I see the side fabric moving. I hear Rimshot sniffing and I figure he’s smelling up alongside the outside of the couch.

A few minutes later, I walk around back again and think to myself… where’s Rimshot?

Rimshot!

Rimshot!

Then I realize, he’s under the couch!

Stupid dog! He apparently was under there when Elijah was getting the cars out and got trapped since he can be kinda dumb. Good to know he’s small enough that the couch (that is pretty much to the floor on all sides) can’t necessarily crush him.

I let him out then come around still looking for that stupid remote. Can’t find it. Put the couch down again. Rimshot! Get out from under the couch! I guess he didn’t learn his lesson the first time. Luckily for him I realized he was missing otherwise who knows how long he’d have been under there? :P

So the blasted thing is still missing. I know it has to be in the couch there somewhere, but we just can’t find it for anything!