Since she first started with solid food, aka not baby food puree, Kayleigh has been extremely picky. At first, we thought it was a texture thing, but now I wonder if it’s not just pure stubbornness and habit.

We had an occupational therapist come see her. One thing she said was, “I’m bad with feeding issues.” Then she corrected herself to say she’s not bad, just that it’s not what she is best at. Whatever. She had no idea really. She gave me an idea of putting something like peanut butter or sour cream on something that K does like and will eat, but that really doesn’t do any good. K found very quickly that she could bite off and spit out the offending piece, then eat the rest of the item. Other than that, the OT didn’t really tell me anything and then said she would get us a speech therapist.

I think the speech therapist came in expecting to see a child with chewing, swallowing, or choking issues. But that’s not the case, K is an old pro at eating. She just refuses to. The speech therapist couldn’t tell me anything either. She had some nonsense about letting K’s hands be dirty with food but I don’t think that’s done anything. She seemed to be more concerned with the fact that K isn’t talking in words yet. Her report said that it was “very concerning” and then noted, “mom is not concerned.” No, I wasn’t concerned about that, she babbles plenty and makes plenty of noises and she will talk when she’s ready. Not to mention, DOCTORS are telling me not to worry until she’s older than two or certainly at age three. So no NEED to worry now. That was offensive and while I won’t turn away speech therapy, I think she needs more work with eating than talking (and I don’t think I want that therapist at all).

So what does she eat? She eats some Gerber and Parent’s Choice items such as puffs (little cereal-like finger foods with many flavors), crunchies (similar to cheesy poofs but healthier and softer), freeze dried yogurt bits, freeze dried bananas, and things like most types of crackers but those chicken flavored ones, Goldfish and Whales, Cheerios and maybe Chex. That’s pretty much it in the way of feeding herself and what she will voluntarily take in. I do make sure she gets the right nutrition by way of purees still so she gets chicken and other meats from that, vegetables, fruits, etc.

Here’s the thing, it’s not just a refusal to try certain things or anything new, it’s that she automatically THROWS whatever she doesn’t want. This is one reason I think it’s not really a texture issue, I will give her something that’s similar to or seems to fit the criteria of what she likes, the only thing is that it’s new, and she will still immediately and automatically throw it. It took me forever to get her to try the freeze dried yogurt and now she loves them. For instance, today I gave her a Gerber cookie. It feels like a cracker, looks similar to a cracker and even comes out of packaging that looks just like the Gerber freeze dried yogurt (oh yes, be ye not deceived, she even watches the packaging), yet she didn’t even give it a try – just threw it.

At my cousin’s wedding shower last weekend, she was saying, “Oh can I give her some cake? How about some icing. This is sweet, she will like this.” My end of the conversation was going something like, “she won’t eat it, she’ll just throw it. Good luck, if you can get her to take a bite from you, I’m all for it.” Just like I predicted, she refused it all and pushed my cousin’s hand away and then got mad when she was offered anything more. If I want her to eat from a spoon (she takes most of her purees in a feeder where I don’t even think she tastes them because she’ll actually eat things like chicken that way but not on a spoon if she doesn’t like it), I literally have to hold her hands down and force her to take that first bite. When she realizes it’s bananas or something, she’s all for it, but she’s still quite difficult for every bite. It’s like refusal is such a habit that she can’t turn it off.

Here’s an example of the packaging. When K is in her high chair, she watches everything I do, very intently. She was already eating those Stauffer’s Whales which are similar to Pepperidge Farm Goldfish Crackers. E loooooved the Whales when he was little, too, and we’ve gotten them because they are cheaper. But I had the bright idea of trying the colored Goldfish as an encouragement that just because it changes color doesn’t mean you won’t like it. I am to understand that all the colors taste the same. So I bought a big carton and I gave her some. She looked at them on her tray, looked at the carton, looked at her tray, the carton again, then threw them off her tray. She didn’t even try them. I had to go somewhere that night so I put some in this little container I keep in her diaper bag for taking snacks with us. I told Steve that while I was gone, try to give them to her again, but only give them out of that container. He did and she tried them right away and now eats them just fine, even seeing what container they come from. However, this does not work all the time – it didn’t work with the cookie today.

Speaking of the cookie… I tried several methods to get her to try it but she just kept throwing it. She got angry with me and I put it on the kitchen table just out of her reach. This also made her very angry because all she wanted to do was throw it. But she ignored it there for a little while. I left the room for a minute and when I heard a noise, I peeked around the corner and could see that she’d broken her high chair again and had the tray in her right hand and was banging it on the table which is to her right. So I headed in there to get her out before she could fall and when I entered the room I saw that she had the cookie in her other hand (guess that’s how she broke the tray off again, E broke it the first time and I had “fixed” it) and she was sort of tasting it without biting it. As soon as she saw me? She threw it. So maybe the issue is all me, I don’t know. I don’t think this is the first time she’s started to try something then thrown it when she’s seen me.

Do I even need to mention how I have to sweep the floor 50 times a day? Even the dog gets sick of Cheerios after a while.

The other day, in a little mini-celebration (until we can do a bigger one) of his remission, we went over there and took a cake I’d made. I totally screwed up the outside and due to the icing trying to melt on me and then running out of time, I didn’t get to fix it, but the inside was what was important. I called it “After the Storm” – just like a rainbow comes out to remind you that everything’s a-ok, so comes his remission. He cut the cake and was VERY surprised to see the inside and called everyone over to see. Everyone had a piece and thankfully it tasted good, too. I have to admit I used box stuff, but I’m not ashamed. Like is said on this inspirational post, “Betty’s been doing it way longer than I have, and has pretty much perfected the art.” I am so not a baker. Maybe if I had a kitchen that was bigger than a closet, things would be different, but in the meantime, I don’t but I’m happy with how the cake came out. I did make some mistakes that if I do this another time, I won’t make them again. It also had E bouncing off the friggin walls… no left-overs for him!

And I wish my father-in-law many, many, many more years of good health and a cancer-free body!

“Bedtime in one hour.”

“Bedtime in half an hour.”

“Bedtime in fifteen minutes.”

“Ok, brush your teeth, go to the bathroom, wash your hands, get your jammies on, and go to bed.”

A lot of instructions, I know, but he’s really got that bedtime routine down pat. The problem starts about 15 minutes after he’s been in bed.

“I’m hungry.”

“Hello? Mommy? I’m hungry!!”

“You’ve been sent to bed. Good-night.”

“But I’m hungry! I didn’t have dinner.”

He totally had dinner, whether he wants to admit it or not. Sometimes he gets a snack (contrary to what my size may show you, we don’t usually have dessert here). But he always has plenty of time before bed to tell me he’s hungry. There are times I’ve even asked him if he was hungry, gotten a “no” answer, sent him to bed, then *suddenly* he’s “hungry.” Most of the time I think it’s just a ploy to stay up later but I feel guilty thinking that I don’t want to deny a growing boy some food.

But this behavior has got to stop. Tonight I told him, “ok, you can eat your dinner left-overs but then to bed and this is NOT going to happen anymore. You have plenty of time to decide if you’re hungry or not and you will NOT be getting out of bed like this anymore.” We’ll see how it goes.

The thing that really grinds my gears, though, besides when he’s been offered food just 10 minutes prior, is that he throws an absolute fit about finishing dinner left-overs. I have been in his face about not wasting food but he just doesn’t seem to get it. Of course, I win there, because I say “it’s that or nothing, we’re not wasting it,” but it still frustrates.

This has been a rant, good-night. :)

Well I went in there this morning and, da, da, da—- her breathing tube was gone!! Once again, I’m flabbergasted! (As they say.) Granted, she is back under the bilirubin light, but I expect that to come and go while she’s in there. But the tube down her mouth/throat is gone and instead she has some oxygen going to her nose. That means that all her breaths are done on her own. She looks like they’re a little bit of work, but she’s getting there. She also still has the feeding tube but somehow it looks less annoying now.

And it seems to me that she’s grown, by the size of her hands, anyway…

In other news, I guess I have some Googling to do because I’m still seeing stars… Need to find out how long it takes your eyes to get back to normal so I can figure out if this is an issue with my eyes or something else. Not sure that it’s my blood pressure as that’s actually been pretty good. Also, why am I still having heartburn? Shouldn’t that have ceased by the time she was gone outta me? :P

Oh, blah, I get this: “Eye changes will continue for one to two months after birth. If you’re nursing, it will continue until one to two months after weaning, when the hormones stabilize.” Grrrrrr…..

Also, I made supper tonight for the first time since mid-February. Though I don’t really care to cook, and Steve did start the meat for me, it was kinda nice making a supper at home again. I made spaghetti with meat sauce and brownies for dessert. Nothing gourmet but, hey, it works. I figure that starting next Monday I need to start making my lunches, too, or other meals for at the hospital. It’s really too expensive to be eating out or eating in the hospital cafe every day, even if it is more convenient.

And in other random news, Elijah is officially spoiled rotten. He’s going to freak out when Kayleigh comes home and we’re suddenly not doing anything interesting or fun for a little while…

So anyway, some people keep asking me what I’ve had to eat. So I thought I’d show you some of it. It’s really not all that bad for being in a hospital. The nutritionist clued me in how, as a long term patient, I can order from the cafe and then there’s “room service.” The cafe changes on a daily basis, and I don’t always want what they have, but it gives me more choices. And yesterday, Steve took me down for my wheelchair ride to the cafe and we had dinner there together.

First we have here what Steve and I had the other night, taco salad! It was pretty good!

Some chicken strips and fries and some cream of potato soup. All of those items are awesome. Even the fries are good, lol. I plan to get the soup again sometime soon and I’m totally hooked on the chicken strips. But as certain people would testify, that’s nothing new!

Two more meals. The first from the cafe, the second room service. The meat in both was really good. Remind me not to get the “green beans” again though!

A deli sandwich. I’ve also had this several times. I know it’s way simple but I love it! The bread is good bread, the kind that doesn’t stick to your teeth, and I get roast beef and turkey with cheddar and provolone cheese. lol what can I say, I love cheese! And they want me eating it lol

And finally, two breakfasts! I also really like to get the omlette. I get it with mushrooms and cheddar cheese. A photo would not be appetizing whatsoever however, but it really is good!

It’s funny though, ’cause my monitors will go offline 99% of the time when I eat because I’m sitting up too straight to get a good signal. So after a few minutes, a nurse will come in to adjust it and see I’m eating and they always say, “oh! You’re eating! Good!!!” Like, it’s the most awesome thing in the world, haha. Does make me wonder if it’s just because of the pregnancy that they’re like this or if people tend to lose their appetites while in the hospital or on bed rest or something. They’re always very happy!

I got weighed again today, too, and was down 2 lbs from last week when they weighed me. I don’t think that nurse was too happy. But it’s like, what do you want me to do? I feel like I’m eating all the time. Yesterday I did nothing but snack after dinner. Some days I don’t at all, other days I do a lot. And, in between the last time they did a growth check and the most recent time, which was the 24th, the baby went from being 1lb, 1oz to 1lb, 10oz; from about 16th percentile to 30 something. I didn’t think that those 9 ounces over about 2 or 2 and a half weeks was that big of a growth but the doctor that came in to talk to me later said it was very good. They are really happy with that growth. I think they’ll do another growth check next week. But that still makes me under my pre-pregnancy weight, even if just by 3lbs and it’s like they want me to gain more weight. I’m not worried about it though, I told her that I think it’s just because I’ve pretty much cut soda out of my diet and have been eating better over the last 6 months. Not to mention, I know that bed rest is leading to the end of all my muscles and muscle weighs more than fat…

So there you have it. Food’s not absolutely horrible here. Not to mention I have some FREAKING AWESOME friends and a FREAKING AWESOME husband who have brought me food. Steve will probably bring me anything I ask, lol, I think he’s caught between feeling sorry for me and missing me so he’ll do just about anything I want (except buy me a Nintendo DS LOL) but so far I’ve only asked him for Subway, which he did bring my third or so day here. And another friend brought me Chinese last week and it was so amazingly good that I ate everything she brought me and was absolutely stuffed!! Two friends came today and they brought me Applebee’s, which was also great, I love their pastas. Then my friend who brought Chinese and also my parents have brought snacks as well. And, also doctor’s orders, I try to order a little something extra at at least one meal so I have something if I’m hungry later. All last week, though, I was getting these tropical fruit cups and Elijah was eating them when he came in. ;-)

Ok, done rambling, think I should try to sleep!

Let’s see, anything new? Probably not.

Um, last week I had bean sprouts on a sandwich. Can you believe it? Me? Yeah I never thought I’d see that day either. They were too hard to pull off though, mixed with lettuce, so I ate it anyway and it wasn’t half bad. Might as well have been eating grass, but it wasn’t too bad. However, today, I traded the bean sprouts for roast beef. Yum.

Had to have more tests the end of last week. It’s gross, I know, but had to do this 24 hour urine test then get my blood drawn. I think the tests have something to do with my blood pressure or kidneys. Yesterday, we all rejoiced over the fact that my blood pressure was better than my grandpa’s… but only by a little, lol. But learning a bit more about it from his girlfriend (who took my pressure), I know I am going to double my efforts of keeping it down now and hopefully not having it be very high once mid-spring or so rolls in.

And, yes, as I mentioned before, we’re having a girl. At least the ultrasound lady says she’s positive. My mom’s been the only one to question it. She says they told her my littlest brother was a girl but, of course, they turned out to be wrong. All I can say is I hope ultrasounds have come along at least somewhat in the last 20 years!
I’ve never seen so many people expressing excitement, though. People are yelling my name across the church lobby then hugging me and saying, “a girl, I’m so excited!” heehee Today our music guy told me that I needed a girl after all of Elijah’s boy energy to which I had to respond, “Oh, by the way, that’s what they said we’re having.” lol I forget who all already knows.

And, yes, she has a name already. Yes, the same name I decided on before Elijah was born. No, I’m not changing it. Yes, I’m spelling it my way, but not the way I really wanted because that way would only confuse people. Yup, still naming after ancestors! And I’m happy I can finally put to use GIRL digiscrapping kits… not that I’ve been scrapping much but that should change when I start getting some more photos and being able to do things outside more.

One thing I find at least slightly strange is that people are already asking us if we will have more kids or if this is it. Maybe they ask that because everyone assumed Elijah was our first and last. He is going on 6 years after all. But either way the answer is I don’t know. I don’t really feel it’s MY decision in the first place and we’ll probably continue to neither try to nor try to stop but, dang, I’m wondering if my body could handle this again. I really feel fine but tired most days but I just feel like I’m going through a big fight for this kid, a real big ordeal.

Elijah got to take Valentines with candy to church today which was fun for all the kids (not so much for me, the one who had to prepare it all). But now he won’t stop saying, “Happy Valentine’s Day, Mommy!” He doesn’t believe me that VDay isn’t for another 6 days. However, since we changed the candy we were going to send due to finding out one boy in his class is allergic to peanuts, I now have lots of chocolate to snack on. I am not allergic to peanuts (hallelujah).

I’ve been practicing with the flash and 50mm lens where I can. I think that this week I’ll get to go see the church where my sister-in-law is getting married so I can get a feel for how the flash and lens and what not are going to take it all on. I’ve also recently printed her wedding invitations and they look GREAT. Seriously, you can’t tell they’re “amateur printed.” Also did her reply cards and the reply card envelopes, need to do the main envelopes very soon, once I get all the addresses organized.

Steve is not working all this week. I’m sure I will be insane by the end of the week. We’re hoping he can go back to work after that. Basically, his job is caught up and they are now waiting on other trades to finish their junk so the electricians can get on with theirs. But in the meantime, there is nowhere for these guys to go so they are forced into taking the week off. What’s the difference, though? He was already down to 3 days a week. He’s hopeful that if they can get through March, things will pick up again. It’s always slower in the winter for construction trades, and, as everyone knows, this year is the worst in recent memory. We are hoping he doesn’t get officially laid off to the point where he has to sign the books at the hall. If that happens… he says he’ll probably never get work this year as he’d be over #420 to have to sign. So that means over 420 guys get work before he does. I know everything will be ok though. Might have some hard times and will probably have to change the way we do things but it will all work out.

I’m hungry. But what else is new?