So, like, last week, ok. I’m on I-270 where I-44 comes on so it’s like 6 or 7 lanes at this point and I see this woman… First of all, she’s in the absolute ugliest car I have ever seen in my entire life: a PT Cruiser that has this wood paneling or something and the rest of it is this greenish-teal color. Seriously, you know you want to see it, or one like it —> here. I told you so, are your eyes burning? So, anyway. She got on the highway there and I really can’t see her because it actually looks like her dog is driving the car. She’s got him on her lap between her left arm and the door of the vehicle and he’s just sitting up straight there and she’s leaning over to the right. As she’s doing that, she’s also drifting into the lane to her left. It’s a good thing there was no one between us in the two lanes there. As I pass her, she sits up and I see what she was doing. You guessed it, she had been reaching for her cell phone. I got away from her as fast as I could!

It’s not that I’ve never done any real highway driving before, it’s just that I haven’t really had to do much in the last several years and when I do, it’s not on a daily basis and not usually during rush hours. I’m trying my best to avoid rush hours now and I have been missing the worst part of it, but sometimes I catch the beginnings of it in the afternoons.

I am really surprised though, how some of these people manage to live each day and don’t just kill us all as we go down the highway.

Yesterday, I was going home, on I-270, so I’m going South, just as rush hour is starting. I’m in the second to the left lane and minding my own business. This car in the far left lane pulls right up alongside me but it’s not until he’s right.there that I see he has his blinker on to get into my lane. It’s like, what do you want me to do? Slam on my brakes so you can get in that lane? So I just keep going, there’s another car in front of me, for that guy to get in my lane at all, really at any point, he would have cut me off. So he like slams on his gas and flies up and gets in front of the car in front of me. Guess what? He could have done that to begin with, right, cause there was no one in front of the car in front of me for at least 5 car lengths.

So I’m just like – whatever – and then this guy in a motorcycle pulls up really fast and really close to me, in that left lane. He catches my eye enough that I turn my head and look right at him because – whoa, dude – could you BE any closer (in my best Chandler voice). He starts motioning towards me with his right hand and then towards, I assume, the guy that just passed me, and he’s talking. Like I can actually understand him, or something. Then in this ticked off manner, he brings his hand back to his motorcycle and speeds off extremely fast. I’m left to go… what.the.heck?

I can only assume he was chastising me for not letting the guy into my lane, but again, what am I supposed to do, slam on my brakes and risk my life and the lives of those behind me so he can get into the lane?

Besides people like that, I also get irritated with people who don’t use a blinker, change lanes for no reason (especially during heavy traffic and usually because these people are constantly changing lanes), people who quickly change more than one lane at a time (zooming all across the highway, I mean, at least pause and re-check to make sure no one is going to get clobbered between each lane change) — Bonus points for doing that without a signal! Then there’s the people that pass you and then get in front of you only to slow way down, the people who you are passing and they speed up just as you start to pass, the big trucks that ride side by side so no one can pass them at all and go 20 miles per hour. Then the people who see a cop and slow down to 5 to 10 miles under the speed limit! I mean, hello, he’s not going to pull you over for doing the limit! Ok, the list goes on and on. :)

So no, I’m not really tired of the drive so much – just the morons! So I’ve found that evening visits are good for me, I like coming home on the highway at 7 or 8 when the highways are pretty empty!

I am just getting so sick and tired of people who think they are “da bomb” and that everyone else must bow to their every whim and desire. So I’ve started photographing all of them, for revenge. MuAHAHAHA.

Of course, the biggest parking morons think that they have these just lyke omg totally awesome vehicles and they don’t want them scratched up, so they take up two or more spots to try and keep anyone from parking next to them.

Example One:

These jokers were sighted at the Perryville, MO McDonald’s which is joined to a gas station/truck stop. They thought that their ugly truck and SUV rawked and so collectively they took up most of this side of the lot.

I still die laughing when I see these photos because those have to be some of the worst paint jobs I’ve ever seen. Not to mention that they couldn’t be put on worse vehicles!

Example Two:

I love this one, because I look like the bad parker. However, appearances can be deceiving. My mom and brother were coming out of the store that day, Walmart in Festus, MO and I was picking them up for lunch. Arriving at Mom’s vehicle (at right), I found this joker with the truck taking up two spots. Of course I had to squeeze in there. What kind of blogger about bad parking would I be if I didn’t? I couldn’t open my door though, to get out, so my mommy took the picture for me.

If I didn’t have a nearly brand new vehicle (and lease at that) myself, I would have found it hard to resist the urge to slam my door into his precious vehicle. Listen up, people, if you’re going to do this, at least have a vehicle worth doing this for!

Example Three:

This guy wasn’t trying to protect his vehicle so much (or maybe he was?) but I surmise he’s just lazy. I had parked at one of the McDonald’s in Festus, MO to return a video we’d rented since by the time I got home, it would be past return time. (This is why I love Redbox.) I parked in a spot next to the handicapped spots which were empty, with four empty spots to my left. By the time I’d returned, all four of those empty spots were now filled, with this guy right next to me. He was in such a hurry to get his artery clogging food, that he parked haphazardly and probably raced the old lady who was parked two spaces down into the restaurant. I just sort-of stood there for a little while, trying to figure out what to do. Should I risk it and try to get in? Obviously, his vehicle is crap, mine’s the one to worry about hitting. I took the pictures with my cell phone and was seconds from going into the store to find out who’s vehicle it was and demand they move it (I was in a hurry, after all) when the guy came out with his food. He said, “sorry,” and then “sorry, I’m pulling out now.” So dirty. I know. I wanted to slap his face but I didn’t say anything. Just gave him an obviously fake smile and then stood impatiently.

This happened to me several months ago when I was at Staples in Cape Girardeau, MO. I am pretty sure I blogged about this when it happened, but I can’t find the post for the life of me. Anyway, I came out of the store to find a big dark blue pickup next to me much like the one in the photo, only worse. More angled towards me. I was unable to open the door to put Elijah in his carseat. I was really mad because I was in a hurry to get home (had an hour’s drive yet) and it was late, so I went back in the store and to the customer service desk. I was asking them if they had a paging system, and spoke loudly enough for anyone nearby to hear that there was a vehicle parked so close to mine and at an angle that I was unable to put my kid in or open my door either. There was a blonde woman with a little girl looking at me, they were paying for their items. They headed out and I just got this feeling. I looked and she was heading that direction, I thanked the Staples employee and said that I was sure it was her and left. Sure enough, it was.

I stood there exasperated while she and the little girl got in the truck and slowly pulled out, waited for a bit, then finally moved. They are lucky the girl didn’t bang my Jeep with her door. I put Elijah in then started leaving the same way they had. I was really frustrated with this especially because this woman had seen me and knew what she had done and she had several opportunities to apologize, but had just stared at me. Then I stopped at a crosswalk and there she was again, with the little girl, going into Target. They passed, looking right at me, then I went down the aisle they had walked up.

Guess what? Yes, she had done the same exact thing to someone else that she had done to me. I realized something: she’s fat. Seriously. She’s bigger than me and was parking that way so she would have plenty of room to get in and out of her vehicle. I’m not knocking people who are overweight (heck, I’m one of them) but seriously, if you don’t feel comfortable with the amount of room you have when properly parking your vehicle, maybe you should park farther away and next to empty spots, get a little more exercise while you’re at it, too! Sheesh.

Then there’s the people who really get my goat. These are the ones I’ve talked about before in that post I linked earlier. These are the people who not only park in handicapped spots when they’re not handicapped, but they also take up spots that aren’t spots, that are meant for handicapped accessible vehicles with platforms and such. So here he is, the worst offender of all, and no, he wasn’t handicapped:

Wait, I just realized something! All of these photos were taken at McDonald’s or Walmart! That’s it, that’s the answer there, don’t go to Walmart or McDonald’s! (HEHE, and we don’t even go to Walmart anymore unless we absolutely have to, so maybe once every 5 months.) LOL

All right, enough ranting on my part. Feel free to share your photos and/or stories. :)

Moral of the story?  STOP BEING SO SELFISH AND LAZY, PEOPLE!

The first was Tuesday morning as I was taking Elijah up to his Tuesday School.  The highway that we live on is a state highway and it travels through eight states.  But in our part, where I drive about 8 miles to get on the interstate, it’s one lane each way with a gravel shoulder.  Speed limit is 55 miles per hour. Yeah, you know the type.

Anyway, as I was heading North, it was just me and another SUV behind me.  We’re going up a hill and here comes three vehicles going towards town, traveling South.  Two SUVs with a car between.  The car was my concern.  I guess he was impatient or something, and wanted to pass the person in front of him.  All three vehicles were really traveling too close together.  As we go past, he starts coming out of his lane into ours, right alongside me, I had absolutely no time to react.  It was amazing that we didn’t hit, as far out as he was sticking, or that he didn’t hit the people behind me.  I honestly don’t know if they moved or he did, as I was too worried about us, but there was no accident.

The second time was last night as I was headed North again, this time on the interstate, two lanes going each way this time, with a grass median between the different directions.  I was traveling in the left lane letting three vehicles come onto the highway from an on-ramp.  First a cement truck, then a car, then a red Dodge Caravan.

As I’m passing the Caravan first, she decides that she is just in way too much of a hurry to fully get on the highway before changing lanes and (without a signal) she starts coming into my lane.  I mean, really coming into my lane, right next to me.  She didn’t even look to see if anyone was there… obviously.  As calmly as possible, I honked and hit my brakes and went into the median a bit on my left.  She backed off and I passed.  I got around the other two vehicles and back into the right lane.  She flew past me, then, on the left, and did not even look at me.  She was going fast, too.  I made note of her license plate because I was pissed, not because I felt that we or the vehicle were hurt, it was 843RYE, MO plates.

Why are people so inconsiderate?  Seriously!  How big of a hurry can you be in to be driving like that?  It’s only going to get you there a couple of minutes earlier, it’s not worth risking your life over!!