hmmm… what?
Yesterday I had three big blowouts with Elijah that left me just exhausted. Completely unable to function at the end of the day. So that I ended up sitting in this chair, just staring at South Park without feeling or emotion while I was supposed to be working.
Two of these episodes were over candy.
Not long after breakfast, he discovered the bag of Hershey’s Kissables I’d accidentally left on the countertop. He brought them into the living room with this look of utter accomplishment on his face, sat on the couch, and popped a handful into his mouth before I could do anything.
I took the bag away and gave him a couple more and said that that was all he got. He scarfed them all down and demanded more. I told him he could have more if he went poopy on the potty (yes, we’re still having trouble there, too) he said to me, “NO. I go pee-pee.” He then came back here and I know I shouldn’t have, but I gave in and gave him a few more, again stressing that that was all he was getting. I put the rest on top of the fridge.
He scarfed those down, too, and then exploded. He wanted more. He screamed, he yelled, he cried, he made demands. I didn’t give in this time and he ended up getting his butt put in bed.
Then in the evening, it happened again. I’d sent some with Steve to work for his lunch and he had some left in a little Tupperware thingy. Elijah got into his lunch “bucket” and found them immediately. He shoved in a whole mouthful and I took the rest away – I was getting ready to do something for supper.
The kid totally freaked. He went absolutely nuts. He started screaming again, about 3 times as worse as before. He just went completely beserk, I’ve never seen him so psycho before. It didn’t help, either, that Steve had come home with a migraine and was lying on the couch and I was getting ready to go to a meeting.
This ate up enough time that I finally just went to McDonald’s and got us a quick supper since I only had about 20 minutes to spare. I put him in bed before I left and told him he had to be quiet for 10 minutes. When I came back, I got the impression he’d actually been quiet and that Steve hadn’t budged from his spot on the couch where he lay with a blanket over his head.
I know that practically ever since he was born I’ve said that he’s an active child, into everything, etc. It’s always been true, but lately it’s been overly true. He’s driving me crazy. He’s not just into everything, he’s into everything constantly. I mean that instead of giving me a break of even five minutes between getting into things that he already knows he’s not supposed to be into, he goes to the next immediately, while I’m cleaning up the previous mess.
He throws fits all the time now. Yesterday during his big fit, he got poked in the eye by my finger because he attempted to drop down away from me. My hands that were around his waist (trying to get him to face me and listen to me) were then in his face and his eye dropped right into my finger. I’m sure that hurt pretty good.
Today he kept opening the back door while I was on the phone and yelling at the dog who was outside. I told him to stop it a couple of times and then finally locked the outer door – he can’t open it when it’s locked. So he started screaming bloody murder. Then he got his chair and took the tray off and slid it to the sink, claiming he was going to do dishes. He knows he’s not supposed to do that – can we say sharp knives and other things that could hurt a three-year-old? That and the fact that the kitchen faucet is broken, you’re not supposed to turn it on. Oh, yes, that one’s fun, too. I pulled him away and told him no two or three times. He moved the chair back again. I pulled him into the living room. He screamed the whole time. Yes, I was still on the phone.
Twice today he was supposed to be going to the bathroom but I caught him at one point rubbing body wash all over himself and the second time into my make-up. This is normal toddlerness, I know, but it’s just constant here. Constant.
When he gets caught at things, too, he tries to tell me what to do. For instance, last month, he was kicking the back of the driver’s seat in the Jeep. Steve was driving so I turned around and told him to stop and gave him a look. He looked me straight in the eye and told me to turn around. Today when I caught him in my make-up, he started screaming and told me to “go in the living room.” He tells me to leave the room he’s in whenever he gets in trouble, I guess so he can go about his business. Add this to the constant screaming of, “NO!!!!!”
I mean, I love the little guy and I would never hurt him but I just don’t know what to do with this kid anymore. He is driving me nuts! It’s like he doesn’t respect me or something.

Nicole
January 10th, 2007 at 8.10 pm
The Children of the Corn theme song just came on. No lie. He’s not THAT bad, I know, but I just thought it was funny.
Anyway, I’m sorry that you are having to go through all this. :( Have you ever considered seeing a family therapist or something? It seems to me like you might have to do something. He definitely seems to be a unique child. I find my jaw dropping at some of the things this kid says/does. He seems very smart and very stubborn. There has to be a way you can work with him in a way that will be both beneficial to all of you, and successful. I hope you can find something that works soon. I know it is hard to say no to children; it’s way easier said than done. But perhaps if you do seek outside help, you can find someone who can offer you ways to work with Elijah without having to “bribe†him or poke him in the eye. (Just kidding! And I bet that did hurt.)
Don’t give up hope. Some kids are just more difficult than others. And that doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent or anything. :)
I wish I could offer you better advice and/or support. :(
Kelly
January 10th, 2007 at 9.31 pm ♥
May I suggest something? I’m not a mom by any means so it isn’t documented advice, but maybe engage in an activity that will really tire him out? Whether it’s maybe taking him to the park for some baseball (let him practice hitting and running around those longggg bases). When he throws fits, take something away and show him that he can’t treat you like that. So he’ll know that if he stops throwing fits, none of his toys will be taken away.
I wish you the best of luck!
Ranee (xposure)
January 10th, 2007 at 10.03 pm ♥
I literally had to look at the blog entry again and verify that I didn’t write this. My daughter will be 4 in April. I swear two was nothing compared to three and I’ve been told that by many other moms. It’s like what is going on here? She threw so many fits around Thanksgiving to Christmas that I thought I was having a nervous breakdown. Compound that on the constantly getting into things and figuring out that people can say I want that now and do it and I was having migraines all the time. It got to the point that the week of Christmas if she started to cry and throw a fit I’d instantly get a headache.
I regrouped and it all seemed really good until, tonight at walmart of all places she rode the little fire truck and while my husband was in line she decided she’d pull the whole no wait one more thing with me. I kept saying no we have to go but that ended in lying on the floor of the arcade thing in walmart. No screaming, a little crying, but the happy part was that I kept it together.
The best thing I’ve found for the fits is to literally walk away if I’m in my house and she’s secure. Or divert her attention to something else. My big thing since Christmas has been if you continue to do that then I’m going to have to take baby alive from you and put her in the closet for a few days. It works well.
Nothing like holding something over your kids head! Hey we do the best we can with the toddlers!
Sarangeti
January 10th, 2007 at 10.38 pm ♥
Ok, hon, take a deep breath. Exhale slowly. I’ve been there…
What they don’t tell new moms is that the 3′s are worse than the 2′s. You cannot divert them as easily as you could when they were 2, and they have better language skills that add to the mess.
Keep trying to be consistent. Do you use a time out corner or something like that?
When J got upset this afternoon because he didn’t get some snack he wanted, I explained to him why. When he still was crying, etc, I just left the room.
The drama king thing won’t be tolerated. To help squelch it, be consistent in how you react to it. Ignoring it is usually a good option. When there is no adience to perform to, the acting has no motivation left to feed it.
If J (recently turned 4) gets really upset, we just tell him to go to his room to calm down. A different place can help him calm down.
E is testing his space and what he can and cannot get away with. It’s like he’s a mini-teenager.
Continue being consistent. When it gets to be too much for you, stop, and go to a different room.
Consider finding somewhere where E can hang with kids his own age for a couple of hours a week. Church programs such as MOPS or Mothers Day Out or, like I did, a family day care. This will help him learn more of his socialization, and it will, most importantly, give YOU a much needed break.
It may also help him with his potty training because when he sees the OTHER kids using the potty, then he’ll realize that he should be, too.
Take another deep breath. Exhale sloooowly. You are doing a great job as a mommy, so hang in there. ((hugs))
Jesse
January 11th, 2007 at 12.13 pm
Wow. My Mom used to tell me I was a holy terror at that age.. I think it’s part of being his age. You’re doing a great job so far (not a Mom, but it seems like you know what you’re doing).
anneberit
January 11th, 2007 at 1.17 pm ♥
Sarangeti had some really good advice, both with the leaving the room and getting him some friends to play with. I’ve also found, with MT, that sometimes what’s behind such not-wanted behavior is a wish to be seen, to get my attention, so if I’m not to angry myself I try to give him that and kind of speak him out of it.
And then I always try to remember what a wise head once said; make noise when the kids do something good! Clap your hands and fill the room with joy. Don’t let the bad things go unattended, but try not to talk in a calm voice! It’s not so easy to do as it is to hear, but I think it’s to the point ;)
Good luck!
And remember, you’re not alone in this!
Val
January 11th, 2007 at 2.30 pm
Thanks for the great advice, everyone :)
You know, it’s kind of funny that you would mention that he should play with some other kids because before I got to read your comments, we went to church last night and he got to be in there for about an hour and a half. An hour of an actual class thing where they had structured activities and such and then a half an hour before that where the kids can just play. It was one of the few times he didn’t want to stay at first because he fell asleep on the way there. But then he did and didn’t want to leave. And on the way home and when we got home, he was SO GOOD. He talked and laughed and sang songs (first asking for his favorites and then singing along) and when we were home, he mostly played with his toys and was just a little angel. I ended up letting him stay up later than normal because he was being so good. He’s not quite been an angel today but he’s not been bad, either. It was only a few minutes ago when I really had to get after him for not listening.
So maybe I’ll try to make it a point to go up on Wednesdays – I don’t usually, there’s really nothing for me to do and it is a 60 mile round trip, but if it helps his behavior, I’m all for it.
I will also try the walking away thing more. It’s hard because he tends to then just turn around and get into more trouble, but maybe I can direct him to his room and then walk away more…
Thanks!! :)
Tammy
January 12th, 2007 at 5.38 am
hey there! oh my. Well…I was watching this show on tv…think it was super nanny or something. haha. I don’t know how well her techniques really work but it seemed to work for the families she worked with on the show. Basically the parent isn’t supposed to lose his/her temper with the child but rather to put the child in a quiet room for a fixed period of time every time an episode occurs. After the fixed detention time, the parent then goes in and asks for an apology. If the child apologises, then he/she is let out and all is well. If not, just leave the child there for another fixed period of time. But the important thing in this exercise is not to extend or cut down on the time at all. It has to be consistent. Then she also introduced some incentives for the child to behave (aside from the disincentive). Something like getting stars and then getting a reward upon reaching a number of stars or something like that. Hmm. I found a website for the show…so…maybe you want to take a look and see if they have any advice for you? ^^ Hope it helps. haha. I’m probably just rattling off here since I don’t have any parenting experience…XPXPXP
link: http://www.supernanny.co.uk/
Nicole
January 16th, 2007 at 3.47 pm
J and E should never be in the same room, that’s for sure. J is going through the same thing right now and he’s driving me absolutely nuts! There are days when I just want to lock him in his room and pretend he’s not there for an hour or two, it is that bad. Seriously. Love him to death, I do, but some days … oh em gee. He can be the sweetest kid in the world when he wants to be. I just keep hoping that someday my sweet little J will return. Hang in there, I know I’m trying.