I realize that I’ve been kinda depressed lately. I know this because I have a ton of unanswered email.

But yesterday was one of those days where it’s so humid, you break into a sweat the second you step out the door. And upon your first second back inside when you return, it almost feels like the arctic. Unfortunately, that feeling goes away very quickly and is replaced with more feelings of sweat and yuckiness.

I haven’t been feeling good the last couple of days. I have an… uh, issue, that had to be dealt with. I went first to the local rip-off store only to find out they didn’t have what I needed. I rarely buy name-brand medicine, usually opting for generic (hey it’s the same crap), except in this case. This stuff is the best… if you can find it in this stupid little town. It hurt to walk, it hurt to stand, it hurt to sit. But somehow, after having four employees learn what was wrong with me and none of them being able to find me what I needed, I made it to the other pharmacy, aka rip-off #2. Thankfully, they had what I needed and I didn’t have to drive 30 miles to a Walmart.

I’m out without makeup, but I don’t care. My little boy is behaving, so that is good enough for me. I drive through McDonald’s, even though we are extremely broke this week (and I just spent over $20 on medicine). I don’t want to make lunch. I just want to put the kid down for a nap that he will never actually take and lie down myself. The air conditioner in my Jeep is on full blast, full cold, all the time… yet I never seem to cool off.

I’m a little disheartened. I wanted a Mountain Dew. My new rule is that I only buy it at the gas station from the fountain – no more cans to keep in the house. This is a good strategy. But I only have 35¢ actual money, so I’m out of luck.

Back at the house, I eat – the kid plays only with his Happy Meal toy and refuses to eat. I lay him down for a nap, take my medicine, and lay on the couch for several hours… in misery. I want to detach myself from my body so I don’t feel it anymore.

The husband calls then comes home, reminding me to vote. This ticks me off. I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to see anymore people. I don’t want to put on anymore fake smiles. But I know I must. There is a proposition calling my name. I must help kill it.

They’ve been lying to us again. Oh, here’s a poposition, they say, it will not cost you any money, it will save you money! But they lie. The increase in sales tax does not compare to the so-called decrease in personal property tax. Either way, I’m shelling out more money. Then to make it worse, they call it Proposition Lifesavers, just to make you feel guilty should you vote no.

I get my ticket to vote on. It’s the primaries, so you have to pick a party. I have a clear strategy, I pick the party I wouldn’t normally vote for. It still feels weird though. The ballots are different this year. Instead of the high tech punching, we get to fill in ovals, just like we were taking a standardized test or something.

I don’t vote for people who are running unopposed.

I vote against the guys we will vote against again in November. I vote for people I know have no chance of winning in the final elections.

I vote against all three propositions and amendments per my rule. If there is any form of the word “tax” I vote against it. No, I don’t want to extend a tax, no I don’t want any new taxes. I can barely afford things as it is. The last thing I need are more taxes for senseless reasons.

This time I have my 85¢ and I head over for my soda. The lady at the fountain in front of me is trying to fill three large sodas while she talks on her cell phone. She’s not very successful. She hangs up, frustrated.

I remember I should check my PO Box, so it’s back through town I go. My poor Jeep doesn’t appreciate the start stop driving. Mail in my PO Box is immediately thrown away. I don’t read anything addressed to “Boxholder.” Idiots.

I leave downtown the back way. I don’t want to look as I drive past the house my great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather built in 1784. Promises of restoration have led to nowhere. It’s depressing.

My Mountain Dew makes me feel better and I lay on the couch for many more hours, in pain, but not taking so much note of it. Steve and I look at places on the internet that we might like to move… like Alaska, Montana, Wyoming… But realizing he has to finish his apprenticeship first before he can become a traveler, we realize it’s not happening any time soon.

I am looking forward to my little trip next week to see Christine and Rich in Memphis and FINALLY get to tour Graceland. I’m not sure how I’m going to afford it, but I’ll make it work. It’ll be fun. And hopefully on the way home, I’ll make some discoveries. Maybe we’ll take the scenic route. A little vacation is just what I need.